Defusing Arguments in Your Marriage
Practical Tips to Fix Problem
Arguments are very common not only to a married couples but even those who starting a serious relationship. It is an inevitable part of relationship. There are no ways for you to avoid argument because each one of us has different thoughts and perception when it comes to certain things in life. What matters most is how you handle and defuse the argument.
If you find yourself in a verbal altercation, use these tips to defuse the argument:
- You need to listen. No matter how hard you explain, neither side is completely right or completely wrong. You need to learn to see the perspective of your partner to understand his reason why he is upset. In this case you may find that your partner probably does have a point. By listening and understanding, it will allow you to have a positive result. When you listen, you are becoming fair not only to your partner but also to yourself.
- To avoid a total blast, you need to calm down. No matter how angry you are, to make the argument controllable you need to calm down yourself. Don’t let your emotion encourage you to be violent. When you are angry, you tend to say harsh words which later be deeply regretted. The best thing for you to do is to take a break. Hold on to your temper and do something that will lessen your anger before going back to the conversation. However, don’t just walk away. Explain to your partner that you need to breath.
- Respect and accept differences. Each person has their own point of view. You need to accept the fact that your spouse reacted differently because he is different from you. Individual differences are real and you need to accept that. You can’t force your idea to someone but you can explain why you think you are right. The key here is to be more specific and clear with what you thoughts.
- Never discuss other problem, stick to the topic. It is common that when argument ignites many couples tend to dig older problems that are already buried. You cannot solve the present issues if you will bring up previous issues. Stay focus on what is going on in the present. Don’t make the argument complicated and broaden. The thing is, why bring up the old issues when in fact you already both agreed that it was settled.